


The Beginning

by Vexatious



Series: Bittybones [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bittybones, Bittybones Adoption, Edgy Bittybones, Gen, Mild Language, Suggestive Themes, Tiny Sans, Tiny Underfell Sans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 18:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious
Summary: In which I set out to supplement my lonely existence with a loving bittybones, and end up with an Edgy bitty instead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Click here](https://vex-bittys.tumblr.com/post/155217692546/bittybones-fanfiction-index-and-characters) for more information about my Bittybones.

I recently decided to spice up my anti-social life with bittybones, and I wanted to do things right. I started researching different bittys to see which ones would be compatible in the complex bitty-verse I pictured in my mind. That’s when I began to become obsessed, creating lists of potential bittys with different colored strings between the names to show compatibility. Finally, I settled on a small collection of tiny skeles to adopt, so I visited my local bitty shop, ready to start my brand new bitty adventure. Funny how things never go the way you plan them, isn’t it?

When I entered the shop, a bell above the door chimed, and hundreds of pairs of miniature eye sockets trained themselves on me. I couldn’t hold back a smile. They looked as excited to see me as I was to see them; even the shy and sleepy ones peered at me with hopeful curiosity. The only exception were some sullen-looking Fell-style Sanses who were each housed separately. They looked suspicious, with eyes squinting and fang filled mouths fixed in tiny frowns. Yikes.

“I’m Vex,” I said to the shopkeeper when she approached me. As she shook my hand, I noticed a Cherry bitty riding on her shoulder, hiding behind her hair and nibbling on a piece of chocolate. Adorable!

“Ah, yes, you called earlier,” she said, smiling. A Papy bitty jogged across the counter and handed her a sheet of paper with my info on it. He congratulated me on my choices after the shopkeeper thanked him, then sprinted off, probably to do more busywork.

“These are excellent selections. You really did your research!” she gushed. “We can get you everything you need to take them home today if you want.”

“I’d love to get them settled in as soon as possible,” I replied, “but I do have a question, if you don’t mind.”

“Ask away. That’s what I’m here for.”

“Those Edgy bittys,” I said, pointing to the Fell Sanses from before, “why do they look so… miserable?” Every other bittybones in the shop looked over the moon at the prospect of a new home.

She sighed. “Edgy bittys aren’t very popular. They tend to be destructive, and they are known for biting. Not many people want to take the time to train them, especially since they can be violent with other bittys.” She looked at them sadly. “Most adopters end up returning them, and it’s very hard on them emotionally.”

I walked over to their segregated habitats. They glared at me, unimpressed. My heart twisted in my chest. Edgy bittys were like little Vex juniors. Act tough, avoid others, pretend not to care, care a lot… Well dammit, I can barely stand myself, so why would I ever…

“I changed my mind. I want an Edgy…”

(What am I doing?)

“… In fact, I’ll take one of the returned ones, one that nobody else wants.”


	2. Chapter 2

What am I thinking? I can’t even emotionally care for myself, and now, instead of a cheerful community of small skeleton buddies, I’m going to bring home damaged goods, a clearance rack dropout, defective bitty? If I were up for adoption,  _I_  certainly wouldn’t adopt me. I need therapy for my problems; I am not qualified to be responsible for someone else’s. 

Somehow, though, I still found myself heading home with promises to return the next day for my Edgy bitty. I needed to get my house prepared. First, I moved all my irreplaceable items into the study, my quiet space where I go to read and relax, and locked the door. Next, I got out my old phone (deactivated), my old laptop (slow), and my old tablet (essentially garbage), and strategically placed them around the bedroom as if I still actively used them. Finally, I went to the dollar store and got tons of tacky, cheap keepsake lookalikes, including something which resembled a malnourished bear or a guy throwing up. I’m not sure, but I bought it. I got the tacky decor all set up as if these were precious items I had collected over the course of my life. If my new Edgy was anything like me- and I was sure he would be- the first thing he would do is have a tantrum in an attempt to go back to the shop before I chose to send him back. I was prepared.

* * *

The next day, I showed up at the bitty shop around noon with a peace offering- a maraschino cherry- for my Edgy. I had also nervously eaten about half the jar of them myself, drowning my growing anxiety in sickly sweetness. The shopkeeper looked surprised and pleased to see me.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked. “You could still stick with your original plan….” I shook my head. “Alright then. I keep the returned Edgy bittys in the backroom while they recuperate from the trauma of being returned. We had three of them, but…” she trailed off, eyes downcast.

“What happened?”

“One of them died,” she whispered. I looked shocked. “It happens sometimes; Edgy bittys get very attached, even though they misbehave so badly. When an adopter returns them, it breaks their hearts. Some of them never recover.”

She motioned me around the counter, and we went into the back room together. The front of the bitty shop was well-lit and and abuzz with soft bitty chatter, laughter, and teeny snores; this space had muted lighting and weighted silence. I saw two bitty habitats, containing two Edgy bittys who could not have been any more different. One Edgy slept with a Softybones clutched desperately to him as if he were using a submission hold on it; the Softybones didn’t seem to mind. The other Edgy sat on the floor, knees pulled to his chest, glaring pointedly at the back wall of the enclosure. I can be tough as nails (it’s a defense mechanism), and I expected Edgy bittys to be tough as nails too. The ones in the front of the shop looked pretty hardcore, but these ones looked defeated.

The shopkeeper indicated the sleeping Edgy. “His previous Momma had a Softybones, so he takes comfort in their company. If you want to adopt this Edgy, you’ll be able to have a Softybones as well. I know that was on your list.” The pair didn’t even stir at the sound of her voice. They would be perfect…

“What about this one?” I heard my mouth say as I approached the other Edgy. I scolded myself. The first one would be fine, why was I even looking at this one? At the sound of my voice, he turned to look at me and  _growled_. _  
_

“This Edgy is…” she paused, considering her words, “a  _special_  case. He has been returned to the shop four times, and each time his behavior has gotten progressively worse. He’s never even made it for a week in one of his homes.”

I crouched down, putting him at my eye level. He grabbed himself and flipped me off. Charming. “I’ll take him.” I said, never breaking our eye contact. Little did this bittybones know, I secretly  _love_  giving people the middle finger salute. I smiled slightly; his crude gesture was actually kind of adorable.

We could make this work.

I hoped.


	3. Chapter 3

I nestled the small plastic carrier in my bike basket (an Edgy can chew through the cardboard ones too easily) and looped the handles of the canvas bag containing a full Edgy wardrobe over the handlebars, and we were on our way home. The bitty had kept up a steady stream of curses, grumbles (probably also curses), and growls throughout the entire ordeal of me choosing clothes for him while the shopkeeper donned leather gloves to place him in the travel box. He even managed to utter a few more expletives while savagely ripping at the gloves with his pointed teeth. By the time she had him closed in the box, the gloves were deeply scarred. I could feel my hands cringe at the memory as I biked us to my… our house.

I admit I had a small amount of hope that he would be so impressed with the bitty habitat I had created that he would somehow become immediately contrite and spend the rest of his life trying to express his undying gratitude. No such luck. I mean, it really was an amazing set-up too. I had modified an old entertainment center into a two floor bitty habitat with sliding privacy screens and custom made miniature furniture. I had placed my obsolete tablet in the “living room” area so he had a huge screen for streaming or gaming. Granted, I did dump him out of the carrier unceremoniously, but in my defense, I need all of these fingers for math. He leapt to his feet, looking for something to bite, but I was safely out of range. 

“I hate you!” he shouted and proceeded to kick the barfing bear/man statue right over the edge of the habitat. It made a hollow thump on the carpet when it hit the floor. 

“Oh no, you killed Barfington Bear,” I commented sarcastically. His mouth had been opened to dispense further insults, but I seemed to have left him speechless. 

“Barfington Bear?” he sputtered while I examined my bitty’s first victim. 

“You can call him Barfy B, and hey, he survived….” I frowned. “Dammit, I hate this stupid thing. I was sure you’d destroy it on your first day here. In fact, I was counting on it.” I placed the hideous monstrosity back in the habitat. 

Edgy found his voice, finally. “Always happy to disappoint.” He stared at me, arms folded belligerently across his chest, bright little eyes alight with challenge. I considered a cruel retort about living a life of utter bliss, but I reminded myself that I was trying to help this bitter bitty. 

“Well, I guess you already met your roommate. I’m Vex, and there are rules here.” He perked up, but I felt certain that he only wanted to hear them so he could start breaking them as soon as possible. “If you bite me, I’ll bite you back, and I’m a lot bigger than you are.” At just 5 feet and 1 inch tall, I took great pride in delivering that line. Usually I’m the girl at the grocery store climbing the shelves to see if my flavor of soup is somewhere up there. “Other than that, I guess just try to run amok quietly.” 

“Heh, or what? You’ll return me? Like I fucking care.” Honestly, he probably did care, but I knew he’d never show it. He wasn’t the only one here who kept themselves guarded.

“Oh, no, I won’t be returning you, but I will ignore you.” And replace your wardrobe with pink Hello Kitty clothes, I added silently. 

He contemplated my words, a begrudging acceptance, maybe even respect, replacing the scorn on his features. “So when’s dinner?” he asked, plopping down on one of the beanbag cushions on the floor. 

At least I still had all my fingers….


	4. Chapter 4

I mentally prepped myself to prepare my first ever meal for my first ever bitty. I told myself I could do this as I looked at all the ingredients I had gathered, perfect for a extra-small sized meal: itsy-bitsy burger patty (check!), extra tiny cherry tomato, sliced (check!), micro greens (check!), hand-crafted burger bun made from a regular size burger bun for authenticity (check!), and hash browns to make miniature fries (check!). I had dried strawberries as a dessert, and iced tea to drink, and I felt like this meal would be an amazing success. I mean, I cook for myself all the time, so what could go wrong?

Everything. Everything went wrong. I knew the small burger would cook very quickly; I planned on watching closely so it would be perfect. The hash browns sabotaged me though, accursed devil potatoes. I heated oil. I used a non stick pan. I even carefully separated the hash browns so they wouldn’t form a big potato cake. When I added them to the pan, they made the satisfying hiss of frying food. Perfect, I told myself. Perfect until I tried to flip them, that is. They were stuck… to my non-stick pan. There was now an impenetrable potato shield burned to the bottom of the pan, preventing their fellow veggie starches from cooking. Scraping desperately at the offending spuds with the spatula, I noticed a burning smell. The burger was burning too. At least, one side of it was; the other side was a sickly grayish-pink. I stepped back and observed the stovetop. Utter. Disaster.

The last two days had been hard. My bittybones hopes had been dashed by my own stupid desire to manifest my own problems in the form of a tiny, angry skeleton that I somehow thought I could fix. I had interacted with a person two days in a row, and my anxiety-induced stress level was off the charts, all of the charts, even the charts that have nothing to do with stress or anxiety. I didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or just curl up in bed and sleep for a few days and hope matters had resolved themselves by the time I woke up. Instead, I took a deep breath, turned off the stove burners, scooped all of the food into the non-stick (liar!) pan, and covered the whole thing with a lid. Not gonna look at it, not gonna worry about it. Biting back tears, I opened the fridge and grabbed the maraschino cherry jar. I leaned over the sink, eating a few of the cherries and idly wondering what my asshat bitty had done with the one I brought him. I hadn’t seen it in the carrier. He’d probably thrown it on the floor at the shop. Munch, munch, munch. Ingrate.

After finishing off the jar of cherries, I decided to call for Chinese. I ordered chicken and broccoli for me and shrimp fried rice for Edgy. After all the stress and sugar, I felt a little nauseous, but I figured I’d be hungry by the time the food arrived. I went back to the bedroom to wait.

“Where’s dinner?” my rude bitty demanded, pausing some show he was watching on the tablet.

“Delivery in about 15 minutes,” I replied, throwing myself on the bed and digging around in the blankets for my TV remote.

“You fucked up dinner, didn’t ya?” he sneered. Once again, I bit back a soul-crushing “Well you fucked up four previous adoptions didn’t ya?” even though I really wasn’t in the mood for his attitude after the kitchen disaster.

“Dinner fucked itself up,” I responded flatly, flipping channels over to Cops. The raucous shouts of “stop resisting” almost drowned out his chuckle.

Almost.


	5. Chapter 5

The food arrived 15 minutes into the TV white noise that passed for conversation between Edgy and I. I’ve never been so happy to receive a nondescript brown paper bag of food in my entire life. I rushed to the kitchen with it to cut it up into a bittybones-friendly serving size, only to be met with the evidence of my previous failure. I scowled at the covered pan.

“I hate you,” I hissed softly at it, and I felt a little better. I dumped rice and chicken with broccoli haphazardly onto a plate for me then spent several minutes neatly arranging fried rice, peas, and diced shrimp onto Snapple cap for Edgy. I carried our meals into the bedroom and set Edgy’s down in front of him.

“Shrimp fried rice,” I announced and waited expectantly. Edgy eyed the food. I continued to expect an outcome, but decided that neutral was safer to hope for than positive. Edgy hadn’t been joking when he said he lived to disappoint though.

“I’m allergic to shellfish.” Our eyes locked. I knew he was probably lying, but I couldn’t risk calling his bluff and potentially killing him. We both knew that.

“How the hell are you allergic to shellfish?” I shouted.

“How the hell are you such a bitch,” he countered.

“Practice,” I hissed, snatching the food and carrying it back to the kitchen. I considered eating my food in the dining room and letting him do without, but sometimes I have nightmares about forgetting to feed pets and finding them dead from my inability to care for them.

With a sigh, I put fresh rice in a clean Snapple cap and diced up some of my chicken and broccoli to go with it. At that point, I didn’t even feel hungry anyway, so I stuffed the leftovers in the fridge and brought Edgy his new allergen-free dinner, plus a dried strawberry that he clearly did not deserve. He ate with no complaints. I assume he didn’t complain, but it’s possible that I just didn’t hear him because I was in the shower using my aromatherapy body wash. The scent of lavender soothed my frazzled nerves. I figured I’d call it an early night and try again with Edgy tomorrow.

“Lights out,” I said, flipping the switch. The room wasn’t dark; I have a color-changing LED mood light that helps me relax so I can sleep. Dressed in an oversized t-shirt, I snuggled under the blankets and turned on my iPod while I waited to be exhausted enough to actually fall asleep. As I closed my eyes, I saw Edgy gesturing rudely but enthusiastically with his teensy mouth open in what could’ve only been an angry screech. I smiled smugly. 

About halfway through the third song, I felt something lightly brush my face. Fearing icky spider touches, I shrieked, threw off my headphones, and scrubbed my face with my hands to dislodge any creepy insectile invaders. That’s when I noticed two gleaming ruby dots coming from Edgy’s direction and a veritable blizzard of styrofoam beanbag “beans” surrounded by a suspicious red glow pelting me harmlessly. 

“What the actual fuck,” I shouted, turning the lights back on. In the bright light of the bulbs overhead, I could see that Edgy wasn’t looking so good.


	6. Chapter 6

Sweat ran down Edgy’s brow, and he looked like he might faint or possibly even drop dead at any moment. For a heartbreaking second, I thought I had somehow killed him with shrimp. That’s when I remembered the red glow around those beanbag “beans.” Sure enough, the cushy beanbag in my bitty’s living room area had been shredded and converted to magical ammo. The beans had already lost their glow, reduced to an annoying mess on the floor. Bittys don’t have much magic, and using it exhausts them. Edgy wobbled, and I stupidly reached for him to keep him from falling.

He bit me, of course, but it was a feeble bite that didn’t even draw blood. The poor little skeleton was all tuckered out, so I ignored his grumbles and picked him up.

“I said bed time, not bad time,” I told him as I tucked him into bed. He was too tired to resist or even swear. I looked around for his strawberry, but he must’ve already eaten it. I set one of mine next to the bed in case he woke up hungry. By then, he appeared to have fallen asleep. He actually looked pretty adorable when he wasn’t trying to be so hardcore.

I watched his even breathing for a few moments. Cautiously, I extended a finger and rubbed his warm little back; he didn’t stir. I spent several minutes gently petting the bitty until I started to feel guilty for taking advantage of his deep slumber.

I returned to my own bed, but when I turned my iPod back on, I wore the headphones around my neck so that I could hear Edgy if he needed me. I sang along softly to about an hour’s worth of songs before I felt myself drifting off as well.

My bittybones and I had survived our first day without bloodshed.


	7. Epilogue (Edgy Speaks)

Hey, Vex here. I told Edgy I was writing about our adventures together on this blog, and he politely asked (yeah right, he rudely demanded), that he be allowed to provide his side of the story. I’m letting him use my nice tablet because the computer keys are too far apart for him to type easily.

**yo this is edgy. i just wanted to clear up a few things for anyone reading this blog. i really loved my first owner, like really loved her, but she wasn’t the kind of person who could understand me. she thought i was biting because i was mean. she thought i destroyed things because i was violent. i just wanted her attention. how else am i supposed to get that? anyway, when she returned me to the bittybones shop, it really fucking hurt.**

**i didn’t really want to try with a second owner, and i guess it showed because the second owner returned me the next morning. broken, she called me. bitch. i actually tried with the third owner. he actually seemed cool, but he turned out to be a pussy who liked my aesthetic (i am pretty awesome-looking), but couldn’t handle who i was. the fourth owner i had was a goody-goody who tried to change me then realized she could just _exchange_  me for a Cherry instead.**

**needless to say, by the time my current momma (she says not to call her momma since i didn’t “splorp outta her flume ride” but she ain’t reading this, so ha), adopted me, i was over the whole bitty experience. it had turned into a game of trying to break a new potential momma/daddy as soon as possible so i could return to my peace and quiet and solitude at the shop. i mean what’s the point of getting attached to someone who doesn’t give a shit about you?**

**when momma (ha again!) picked me up, she had a peace offering- a bright red maraschino cherry. it was a nice gift, but my trust can’t be bought. she wrote in her blog that i threw it away, but i actually tucked it under my sweater to chomp on later.**

**i worked hard to keep the upper hand in the power struggle. i didn’t want to seem weak, and i wasn’t going to get attached, especially to someone who names an ugly statue barfington bear. she played the game now, but i knew it was just a matter of time before she decided i was too much trouble. i decided to speed that realization along by _being_  too much trouble.   
**

**i will not confirm or deny my shrimp allergy, but i got what i wanted, didn’t i? once again, momma gave me a lovely red-colored sweet treat, even after our heated exchange over dinner. i hid the strawberry and the cherry behind my bed; i wasn’t ready to eat them yet because they were actually kinda pretty and she gave them to me even though i really didn’t deserve them.**

**that’s when she went and started being a complete bitch and ignoring me! she left during dinner to go shower, which was fine because the wall of my bitty habitat is against the wall to the bathroom. why does this matter? because to be honest, the new momma was kinda hot (nice rack, great ass, stacked, gorgeous golden hair and lovely blue-green eyes), and the thought of her in the shower, well…**

**the problem was that the fucking tablet she gave me was total garbage. i tried to tell her it wasn’t working, but she put her headphones on and kept ignoring me! i hadn’t even done anything! i grabbed the beanbag chair she’d gotten for me and tore that shit in half (RIP beanbag, get it?). i used all the magic i had to bombard her with the little styrofoam pellets, but i got really tired really fast and it didn’t even seem to faze her.**

**in fact, as i ran out of energy, both physical and magical, she had the big brass balls to come over to me and look concerned even though it was her fault for giving me a junk tablet. she picked me up, and i used the opportunity to bite her to let her know how mad i was. blood everywhere, it probably needed stitches, and i bet she cried from the excruciating pain but it served her right.  
**

**despite all of that, she tucked me gently into bed. not only that, but she gave me _another_  dried strawberry! by that time, i was pretending to sleep, wondering if she was going to box me up and return me, but then she did the strangest thing. she petted me. she was so careful and gentle, and it felt really good. i stayed still, and when she stopped, i actually kind of missed her touch. not that i even liked her or anything, but it felt nice, ok?**

**after that, she got back in bed. i decided not to bother her again that night because i was pretty tired. shenanigans could wait for tomorrow. besides, i needed to make a better plan since my efforts that day had gone mostly unnoticed. i heard her singing softly, and it was such a beautiful sound. i fell asleep to it. i might actually feel bad when she returns me. might.**

Ok, Vex again. I promised Edgy I wouldn’t read this, but I wanted to add a note that whatever he was writing is making him blush bright crimson. 


End file.
